Mark Sloniker jazz musician and artist
Mark Sloniker jazz artist and musician
Mark Sloniker jazz musician

News from 2010


This thing takes a few (5-6) minutes to watch, but will AMAZE you!

Listening to jazz can be amazing sometimes, too!

Wednesday 12/1 Jay’s Bistro (7-10) Myles Sloniker/bass, Mark Raynes/drums and Mark Sloniker/piano play trio music 7 to 8 and then are joined by Leslie Parreco/voice at 8pm.

Thursday 12/2 Jay’s…Mark Sloniker/piano starts at 6:30, then is joined by Roger Barnhart/bass at 8pm and from there, more guests join in.

Friday 12/3 Jay’s welcomes guitarist, Mike Davis, Mark Raynes/drums, Roger Barnhart/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano (8:30-11:30).

Saturday 12/4 Jay’s plays host to Ryan Fourt/guitar, Richard Mikel/bass and Shilo Stroman/drums (8:30-11:30).

On Saturday 12/4 (7:30 pm) I’ll be playing with Wisconsin singer/songwriter Johnsmith and Colleen Crosson/voice at Avo’s (605 S. Mason Street)…practically around the corner!

We do a second show on Sunday, 12/5 (7 pm), as one or both of these annual shows regularly sell out! Tickets are available at Avo's, Genoa Coffee (Timberline and Drake), on line at (click on the "Brown Paper Tickets" logo), and at the door beginning at 6:00 pm each night (if not sold out).

Hope to see you! Mark


Greetings e-friends!

“They” have just reported/announced the birth of a bouncing baby black hole…cigars (the kind that explode) for everyone! The birth was natural…from a super nova “point” of view (gestation period is albeit a bit sketchy as the super stars always try to keep their personal lives out of our view). The “new born” has eaten the equivalent of the earth, in matter, during its life so far…which sounds like this one might be a picky eater. I can just hear its mother saying, “Now you finish up those moons and that planetoid before you go out and play!” And the little black hole says, “Awe, do I have to? Life sucks for black holes!” To which she’d say, “Don’t try to make light of this honey! Please understand the gravity of the situation!”

In honor of this, we will be playing jazz using only black-whole-notes all millennium (so rush down while there’s still time…and space) and treat yourselves to what all black holes feast on…a light meal!

Wednesday 11/17 Jay’s Bistro 7-10pm The night starts out with Roger Barnhart /bass Mark Raynes/drums and Mark Sloniker/piano. After the break, Myles Sloniker/second bass, pinch hits for Roger and we send in designated hitter (and singer) Mandy Harvey for the duration. Mandy’s new CD is almost here, hear?!

Thursday 11/18 Jay’s Bistro (6:30-10:30) Starts out with Mark Sloniker/piano, then Roger Barnhart/bass jumps in. After that, an assortment of surprises – it’s what jazz is all about!

Friday 11/19 Jay’s (8:30-11:30) Guitar Star (he plays an explosive super-bossa-nova) Grant Gordy joins in, with Mark Raynes/drums, Marty Kenny/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano.

Saturday 11/20 Jay’s (8:30-11:30) Singer-super-star, Colleen (she really shines) Crosson shares the stage with Richard Mikel/bassist on a full time basis and baby-black-hole-baby-sitter/pianist, Mark Sloniker (who was heard saying to the baby black hole he was baby sitting “Okay, I mean it! It’s bed time! Lights OUT!

Thanks for Listening, Mark


Hey there – this last week has been a whirlwind of recording sessions and rehearsals, but wanted to give you a shout about this week’s jazz happenings at Jay’s:

Tonight, Wed., 10/13, 7-10 pm - Myles Sloniker joins me on bass, with Mark Raynes on drums, and soulful vocalist Billy Hundley in for a guest set later in the evening.

Thursday, 10/14, 6:30-10:30 – Roger Barnhart is the bassist…interesting people join in!

Friday, 10/15 (tax day for us procrastinators!!) – I’ll play a solo piano set from 6-8, and will be joined (8:30-11:30) by Denver’s trumpeter extraordinaire Hugh Ragin, bassist Myles Sloniker and drummer Shilo Stroman.

Sat., 10/16 – solo piano 6-8, followed by the long awaited return of Denver’s Wendy Fopeano on inspiring vocals, and Richard Mikel on bass, from 8:30-11:30 pm.



Stephen Hawking (one of my heroes) shook the world with his work and “insights” on black holes. And for a while there, great debate and controversy ensued as to whether information going into one could ever come out in any intelligent form. I felt very honored when the Internatonal Association of Astrophysicists and Cosmologists approached me about using my office as a model. Many scientists agreed it was the closest thing they could find on planet earth to a black hole, and they were pretty sure nothing that went in there ever came back out (at least in any intelligent form). Many of you can concur with those scientists!

Now that they have the particle accelerator going again in Cern (although it’s top secret…so let’s keep this strictly on the low down)…it’s again an honor to be approached by this group. This time they want to take my office and send it through the particle accelerator at light speed (almost) and smash it against British Petroleum. I’m pretty sure whatever comes out will be pretty fuelish (indeed). We’ll do our best to make light of the situation. Oil get back to you later. In the meantime, here’s what I’ll be up to….

Jay’s Bistro:

Friday 8/27 (solo piano 6-8) - Then at 8:30, Mike Davis/guitar, Myles Sloniker/bass, Mark Raynes/drums and Mark Sloniker/piano. When light slows down in pensive meditation it turns into sound. We will play an evening of light motifs.

Saturday 8/28 (solo piano 6-8) - Then Colleen Crosson/voice, Roger Barnhart/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano. Tonight, all music will be made from 100% recycled atoms (and stuff).

Sunday 8/29 - After 2 services at Unity of Fort Collins (9 and 10:30 am), Colleen Crosson and I will head down to Beet Street’s “Streetmosphere” to play the rest of the afternoon (1-5 pm) with Myles Sloniker joining us on bass. We will be right outside of Mugs (NW corner of Olive and College) which has a nice shady patio as well as several benches outside so you can sit and enjoy the music. And as if that weren’t enough (can you tell I love my work/play?):

Myles and I will then head down to Dazzle in Denver for 2 shows with Mandy Harvey/voice, Myles Sloniker/bass, Mark Raynes/drums and Mark Sloniker/piano. The 7pm show is sold out but there are still tickets available for the 9pm show. For ticket info go to or call (303) 839-5100 (tickets may not be available at the door!). I guess if we can’t find a gig to go to after that, we’ll go home (and practice)!

Catch us if you can and (as always) thanks for listening!


Dear E-Friends,

The very cool thing about good jazz is that it is always very bohemian AND we have some very wonderful and exuberant bohemian jazz coming your way during this year’s New West Fest/Bohemian Nights events in Fort Collins this week and week end!

Wednesday 8/18 Jay’s Bistro welcomes vocalist Mandy Harvey to the stage at Jay’s (she’s on at 8pm). Our trusty trio (Mark Raynes/drums, Myles Sloniker/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano start the evening, “trio style” at 7pm and then are joined by Mandy at eight o’clock. After that anything could happen (and usually does).

Thursday 8/19 Jay’s enjoys enjoining to the musical stage the jauntly jabs of Mark Sloniker’s piano with the beautifully boisterous bass bayings of none-other-than Gene Libbea at the bass. (6:30-10:30)

Friday 8/20 Jay’s stays the course with vocalist Billy Hundley (the Viceroy of Joy) along with Myles Sloniker/bass, Mark Raynes/drums and Mark Sloniker/piano…this band will make you happy (I’m tellin’ you)! (8:30-11:30)

Saturday 8/21 Jay’s welcomes the wonderful vocal talents of Tina Marx (she and her sweet voice will entertain you sublimely) AND Roger Barnhart/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano are no slouches anywho.

On Sunday at 1:20pm at the Library Park Stage at New West Fest’s Bohemian Nights (or in this case Bohemian Afternoons) our band (that is listed above on our Wednesday 8/18 listing) will rock you in a very good way!

More Upcoming: Mike Davis/guitar, Friday 8/27. Colleen Crosson/voice, Saturday 8/28. Bard Hoff/guitar, Friday 9/3. Peter Sommer/sax, Friday 9/17. It behooves you to be bohemian at this boint!

Mark (woops the “spell-check” is off again)


Many of you know that Mark has an evil twin brother Skippy. You might not know about their sweet twin sister Skipper, who has been asked to write this short missive about Mark’s upcoming gigs while he teaches away in the next room. Skippy started to write it, but he got all the names mixed up (maybe on purpose, since he IS evil), so it has been left to Skipper. She still cannot guarantee its absolute accuracy, looking at the notes she was given…. Here goes:

Tonight, Thursday, July 22nd – Jay’s Bistro – Mark is joined by Roger Barnhart on acoustic bass and several other guests, including vocalist extraordinaire Mandy Harvey.

Friday, July 23rd – Jay’s hosts Mark Raynes on drums, Myles Sloniker on acoustic bass and Young Kim on jazz guitar. Mark will join in later in the evening!

Saturday, July 24th – Jay’s patrons will be treated to Mark Sloniker on piano and the soulful Billy Hundley on vocals.

Wednesday evening, July 28th from 6:30-8:30 Mark Sloniker and Colleen Crosson will be performing under the trees at CSU for the “Live at the Lagoon” Concert Series. They’ll be joined by Mark Raynes on drums and Erik Applegate on acoustic bass. Bring picnics, lawn chairs and blankets and enjoy the tunes!

Friday, July 30th – Mark will be joined by Andrew Vogt on sax and clarinet at Jay’s Bistro.

Saturday, July 31st – Mark gives Colleen Crosson another chance to croon at Jay’s, since she had to bow out of last Saturday’s gig due to severe heat exhaustion! Yikes – be careful out in that heat, folks! Come into Jay’s where it’s cool (but where the jazz remains HOT!).

Please check Mark’s website for exact times - they change slightly depending on the day.

Thanks for listenin’! Mark (via Skipper….)


Dear e-Friends,

Tonight (Tuesday 6/22) I’m playing in the Jazz Lounge at Dazzle (for all you E-Friends in Denver) from 9-12. I’ll play the 9-10 set with our host Ian Hutchinson on bass and drummer Dave Rolf (I’m certain that this will be a very fun trio set). Then after 10, guests and/or “sitters-in” will join the band. So come on down to Dazzle and dabble in some delectable and delicious dazz…I mean jazz!

Tomorrow Night (Wednesday 6/23 7-10pm) another fabulous trio will play at Jay’s Bistro…Mark Raynes/drums, Myles Sloniker/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano. The trio (a new intergenerational edition of Monster Trux Trio) will feature the music of Bill Evans and Miles Davis and some of their favorite standards.

Thursday 6/24 features the always witty and warm tones of Roger Barnhart/bass, Mark (yours truly) Sloniker/piano with fabulous guests (6:30-10:30) at Jay’s Bistro.

Friday 6/25 marks the return of vocal-dynamo Billy Hundley to Jay’s, with a wonderful trio called “Sloniker, Dad, and Drummer” featuring the very same cats as on 6/23 above (except in a different order…or disorder, as the case may be).

Saturday 6/25 rounds out vocal-dynamo week at the Bistro with vocal-dynamo-part-two starring Colleen Crosson/voice with a fabulous trio called “Sloniker, Dad, and Derf Trio” featuring Derf Green on hand drums and other percussive instruments!

On Sunday (6/27) we, (Colleen, Myles & Mark) are part of a fabulous benefit performance called the “6th Annual Piano Soiree” at Jay’s. This worthy benefit for Respite Care and Pathways Hospice will also feature Christi French, Lexi Glossi, Mims Harris, Janet Landreth and Vladimir Ostromensky, Ryan Marvel, Shauna Southwick, and American Idol contestant Haeley Vaughn! The Crosson/Sloniker Consort set will be the last one of the evening, from about 7:45-8:30. Tickets are $50 each and available online at , or by calling 970-207-9435. Great food, great music, great cause!

‘Hope to see you this week…
Thanks for Listening, Mark


Dear e-Friends,

You’ll find some new friends and old ones (all fine frends and fine players) this week at Jay’s.

Wednesday 6/16 Jay’s features a very special trio…”Monster Trux w/a twist” includes old friends Mark(s) Raynes and Sloniker/drums/bass along with new and upcoming bassist Myles Sloniker who is definitely turning some heads and ears on the scene. We will have some special guests joining us however this trio is very happening on its own. I’m Mark (totally-biased-but-just-telling-the-truth) Sloniker and I approve of this message (7-10).

Thursday 6/17 Jay’s plays host to dynamic duo, Roger Barnhart/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano as the night progresses more folks join them: usually the likes of vocalists, Mandy Harvey and Jane Kindsfater and we promise you, you’ll “like(s) what you hear!

Friday 6/18 Jay’s-jumps-for-Joy with the arrival of Denver-based-trumpeter, Hugh Ragin (Hugh and I celebrate 26 years of musical friendship this summer) with Richard Mikel/bass (a new friend and a very talented UNC music student) and Mark(s) Raynes and Sloniker/drums and piano (8:30-11:30).

Saturday 6/19 Jay’s welcomes back that sweet newly wed Mandy Harvey/voice (her husband, Greg will most likely be on hand) along with bassist Roger Barnhart and pianist, Mark Sloniker to cook up some tunes from her debut CD, “Smile” and some new tunes from her second CD which we will be recording (hopefully) this summer.

Sunday, 6/20 will be “the Crosson/Sloniker Consort” debut for Beet Street’s “Streetmosphere” series, taking place in downtown Fort Collins through Sept.! Colleen Crosson, Myles Sloniker and I will perform on a street corner near you (if you do indeed live in Fort Collins…) from 1-5 pm. Go to for more information on this way cool concept.

Other upcoming gigs at Jay’s include:
Colleen Crosson and Myles (and Mark) Sloniker, Saturday 6/26.

We will also be taking part in the “Sixth Annual Piano Soiree” (Abby’s Signature Concert Series) at Jay’s on Sunday, June 27th (for details go to or ).

Thanks so much for listening!


Hey jazz-e-friends,
Before you go storming into Jay’s tonight (Thursday) I must “rein” you in a bit and let you know we will not be doing jazz@jay’s tonight as I will be attending the play “A Servant of Two Masters” that my daughter Emma and son Myles are taking part in at Poudre High School. Sorry to rain on your parade especially after you’ve showered us with so many compliments about the music over the years. And I hope this doesn’t create any turbulence or cloud things up. And if you’re wondering weather we’ll be back tomorrow…I forecast a clear and sunny return of jazz…not to try to precipitate anything, mind you, but as you see…..Raynes, Raynes, goes away and comes again on most Fridays.

Jazz returns, Friday April 23rd with (Mark) Raynes lots of fluid rhythms on everybody while Marty Reins booms with thunderous bass notes that get to the bottom of everything, Bard Hoff sets the guitar on fire with lightning fast licks while Mark Sloniker has an umbrella policy to aid and abet all jazz musicians in the torrential tones of toe tapping tilliness (because after all) piano is his forte. (8:30-11:30).

Saturday 24th Fine music creates a low pressure atmosphere that is slicker than anything that has ever fallen from the sky, with Myles Sloniker on bass, Colleen Crosson/voice and Mark Sloniker/piano. (8:30-11:30). So come on down…what the hail!

Upcoming: Peter Sommer/sax, Friday April 30th. Hugh Ragin/trumpet, Friday May 7th.

Thanks for Listening!


Greetings E-Friends,

For Coloradans, spring is a scattering of warm sunny days between snow storms. Well these last few days have sure been sweet. My daughter Emma and I had a lovely two hour bike ride along the Poudre River bike path on Sunday. What a joy. Everything getting green and “bloomy” – the warm spring breeze through the trees. The ducks were out “in force” doing a little “chillaxed” fishing while a fox was scoping out the ducks, quietly humming…”get ‘down’ tonight”…

So don’t forget to get out into the sweetness of spring…wherever you are – and if by chance you are reading this upside down in the southern hemisphere then…don’t forget to get out into the fabulousness of fall! And remember that there are some well seasoned musicians cooking up some fine tunes over there at Jay’s Bistro this week and some other good gigs coming up too.

Wednesday 4/14 Jay’s (7-10) Ron Cottingham is our special guest guitarist with Roger Barnhart/bass, Mark Ryanes/drums and Mark Sloniker/piano – other jazzy cats may spring into action as well.

Thursday 4/15 Jay’s (6:30-10:30) Mark Sloniker/piano starts out solo, then is joined by Myles Sloniker/bass around 8pm (at this point the band is duly names “Sloniker & Dad”) and others join in by and by. In honor of tax day, we will perform the Gershwin song, “They Can’t Take That Away From Me”…

Friday 4/16 Jay’s (8:30-11:30) Our wonderful friend and fabulous guitarist, Mike Davis joins the Monster Trux Trio (Erik Applegate/bass, Mark Raynes/drums and Mark Sloniker/piano) for a festive frolic featuring a fine feisty fare of spring songs!

Saturday, 4/17 Jay’s is the plays to catch our “treblesome troubadour and vocal v.i.p., Billy Hundley along with Roger Barnhart/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano…this is a very swinging (into spring) good time.

Saturday 4/24 Jay’s features Colleen Crosson (8:30-11:30).

Sunday, 4/25, 4:30 pm, our “family trio” (Mark, Colleen and Myles) will be playing for a very worthy benefit at the Lory Student Center Theatre. The Colors of Mongolia Concert will support the Sisi Scholarship at Global Reach. Your tax deductible donation will directly benefit outstanding, low income Mongolian high school students seeking higher education in Mongolia and the USA. The scholarship is an enduring legacy to honor Urangua “Sisi” Mijiddorj, whose brilliant light and life was tragically cut short in August 2009 when she was struck by a car while riding her bicycle to school. The concert event will feature traditional Mongolian folk dancing, a Mongolian contortionist, our performance set, and much more. For tickets and more information, go to or visit the CSU Box Office. Tickets are just $10 (children 3 and under are free).

Tuesday, 4/27, 7-9 pm, the SAME Crosson/Sloniker trio will be performing at the Historic Plains Hotel in Cheyenne, WY, as part of the Laramie County Community College Cultural Events Series. The hotel is located at 1600 Central Ave. I hope all our Wyoming friends can come!

Thursday, 4/29, 6-9 pm, Colleen Crosson joins Mark Sloniker and friends at “The Taste 2010”, an annual benefit for the Food Bank for Larimer County and Neighbor to Neighbor. The event takes place at the Hilton Fort Collins and features food and libations from more than 30 local restaurants, wineries, and breweries; a silent auction featuring Palette of Plates by local artists; and fine live music with many of Fort Collins top jazz performers. General admission is $65/person, $75 at the door. VIP admission $95/person, $105 at the door (early entry at 5 pm, plus champagne reception and special offers!). 100% of your ticket purchase supports local hunger and homelessness relief efforts! Tickets at (970)488-2368 or

As always, thanks for Listening!


My friend TM sent this to Colleen and me, as she knows that Colleen is a “Jersey Girl” and we both had a good laugh over it! Of course any of you who know us, know how Colleen keeps our family, household and lives operating smoothly, keeping it all together while running her/our business as musicians and teachers etc…! Having said that, please enjoy the vignette and then join us for some tasty jazz@jay’s.

Wednesday 3/3 (7-10) Jay’s Bistro: Mark Raynes/drums Roger Barnhart/bass, Mark Sloniker/piano with guest guitarist Michael Davis (joining us around 8pm). This band really swings sublimely!

Thursday 3/4 (6:30-10:30) Mark (Piano Man) Sloniker starts off solo and is then joined by Ron (Guitar) Cottingham around 8pm who are then joined possibly/probably by singers Mandy Harvey and Janie Kindsfater around 9pm…it’s a party you don’t want to miss!

Friday 3/5 Kevin Whalen is back at the Bistro with his cookin’ brand of jazz trumpet and the likes of Myles Sloniker/bass, Mark Raynes/drums and Mark Sloniker/piano. This is a first-time-line-up and it promises to be fresh, fun and very musical! (8:30-11:30)

Saturday 3/6 (8:30-11:30) Singer, Billy Hundley croons creatively while Roger Barnhart bassos beautifully and Mark Sloniker (piano’s his forte) plays accidentally (it’s the only kind of dental I can afford). This night will be anything BUT like pulling teeth…bring your brightest smile because you will be using it!

Thanks for listening! Mark

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives household duties.

The first man had married a woman from Texas and told her that she was going to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Nebraska. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from New Jersey. He told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, laundry washed and to have hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye; enough to fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.


Dear E-Friends,

My dear friend John (was it a “Dear John” letter?) sent me these “Tech Support to customer” conversations. I’m not sure whether or not they made me feel any better about my computer skills; they DID however make me feel less alone (oops). First though, I will give you the sweet rumor of tasty if not outright saucy jazz coming to a bistro near you (or not so near, in the case of you re-e-cipiants of this e-mail in Russia and Spain etc.)! It is a Bistro near you, galactically speaking.

Wednesday (tonight) 2/24 Jay’s Bistro (7-10) Myles Crosson Sloniker/bass is back with the likes of Mark Raynes/drums, Mark Sloniker/piano and Special Guest, Billy Hundley/voice (who joins us at around 8pm).

Thursday 2/25 Jay’s Bistro hosts Gene Libbea/bass, Mark Sloniker/piano with guests sitting in as the evening progresses (6:30-10:30).

Friday 2/26 (8:30-11:30) Jay’s features Bard Hoff/guitar (Bard and I have been playing together since the early 80s…no, the 1980s) and it is always a joy to get to play with him again. Erik Applegate/bass and Mark Raynes/drums, round out this very sweet quartet. I oblong out the band!$*^@#%

Saturday 2/27 Jay’s plays host to Mandy Harvey/vocals, Myles Sloniker/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano (8:30-11:30).

In March: Kevin Whalen/trumpet Fri. 3/5. Billy Hundley/voice Sat. 3/6. Peter Sommer/sax Fri. 3/12. And more…thanks for listening, mark

Subject: Computer tech support: I think I asked ALL of these questions and gave the same answers at one point or another. :-)

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day.... How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and.....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
Customer: I have problems printing in red..
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah..........................thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer....
Customer: I have a huge problem.. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
And last but not least.....
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'...on your keyboard, Bob..


Dear E-Friends,

These classy quips (listed below) were sent my way by a classy gent (thanks J.P.) and were entitled “Classy Insults for John Stewart to Use”. I don’t know if he, John, has used them as yet, but it is my pleasure to pass them along (I hope J.P. won’t mind). But first a word about jazz@jay’s et al…

Wednesday 2/10 Jay’s Bistro (7-10)
Gene Libbea/bass, Mark(s) Raynes and Sloniker/drums and piano with guest artist Billy Hundley/voice (Billy joins us at 8pm). Ground Hog or no, we will “spring” forth into musical blossom, get Feb. up with winter and March into hot jazz climes!

Thursday 2/11 Jay’s Bistro (6:30-10:30)
Roger Barnhart/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano will entertain you, themselves and some very special musical guests! Entertain the idea of that.

Friday 2/12 Jay’s (8:30-11:30)
High strung guitarist, Ryan Fourt meets “all-keyed-up” pianist, Mark Sloniker and back-to bass-ics, bassist, Matt Smiley with Mark (serious repercussionist) Raynes on drums. This event will be instrumental!

Saturday 2/13 Jay’s (8:30-11:30)
Twas the night before Valentine’s Day and all through the Bistro, the Roses were stemming out prepared for the feasto…feast your ears on Tina Marx/markedly fine voice, Roger Barnhart/heartfelt bass, Mark Sloniker/scaled down piano.

Upcoming: Hugh Ragin/trumpet Friday 2/19. Colleen Crosson/voice Saturday 2/20. Erik Applegate/bass Friday 2/26. Mandy Harvey/voice Saturday 2/27.

And now for some “won-liners”!

Thanks for Listening, Mark

When Insults Had Class (no 4-letter words !!) These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination. " - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx


Would the opposite of impromptu be promptu? Whatever imprompted me to say that (on the spur of the moment)? Well sorry for the last minute notice but excellent music is heading your way…so head on down…we start impromptly at 8:30 and if we forget any of our lines there will be an imprompter there to help us out (or in). Solo piano start at 6pm tonight and tomorrow night tu!

Friday 2/5 Jay’s Bistro (8:30-11:30) Andrew Vogt/sax, Mark Raynes/drums, Erik Applegate/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano!

Saturday 2/6 Jay’s Bistro (8:30-11:30) Myles Sloniker/bass, Mike Davis/guitar and Mark Sloniker/piano.

Upcoming: Friday 2/12 features Ryan Fourt/guitar. Saturday 2/13 features Tina Marx/voice. Friday 2/19 features Hugh Ragin/trumpet. Saturday 2/20 features Colleen Crosson/voice. Saturday 2/27 features Mandy Harvey/voice.

Thanks for Listening!


Dear E-Friends, I have been “on the mend” a bit and playing a little “catch-up” with things, but I wanted to let you know about some fine gigs coming up in the near future. Please come on down and help us jam our way out of Jazzuary and get that Ground Hog out of the hole in Feb. In the mean time, I hope you are well and enjoying 2010 to the fullest.

Thursday 1/28 Jay’s Bistro (7-10:30) features Roger Barnhart/bass and Mark Sloniker/piano with some special guests as music unfolds in the moment.

Friday 1/29 Jay’s welcomes guitarist Grant Gordy, bassist Myles Sloniker, drummer Mark Raynes and Mark Sloniker on piano. This should be a fun gig! (8:30-11:30)

Saturday 1/30 (8:30-11:30) Billy Hundley/voice joins Barnhart and Sloniker (bass and piano) on an adventure through the tasty terrain of standards, jazz favorites and even a smidgeon of R&B to boot.

In February, Andrew Vogt/sax joins us on Friday 2/5. Tina Marx sings on Saturday 2/13. Hugh Ragin is back Friday 2/19 and Colleen Crosson croons on Saturday 2/20.


Mark Sloniker fan page on Facebook Mark Sloniker at ReverbNation